March 28, 2013

pure motives.

reading
Something's been tugging at my heart recently ever since my blog jumped in numbers.

First of all, thank you new friends and old friends alike! Thank you for supporting me and amen-ing along with me. Despite what I say next, it's a true blessing to have you here.

These past few weeks I feel like God has put my blogging motives on my mind. More specifically, I feel Him calling me to check my motives when it comes to blogging.

Not too long ago, I started reading the book of Philippians and came across these morsels of wisdom (and a reality check, too).

Paul warns the Philippians that "some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives....those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition" (Philippians 1:15-17).

A few verses later Paul emphasizes the importance of being fearless, using our lives to honor Christ, and living a life of fruitful service for Him.

I think we can all say those verses hit home and gave me the medicine that my heart badly needed. It made me realize that my blogging heart and mind had been on the numbers and stats, not Jesus. I was not for Him and to bring others to Him, but to bring more followers and numbers to me.

And when it comes to fruitful service, I think we can all agree that those blogging thoughts were my rotten fruit. Sure, the posts were about Him and my faith in Him, but my heart when hitting publish most certainly was not. It was focused on the potential comments, the potential readers, and the potential benefits for my sake that would come from publishing it.

Even though I felt crummy at this point in my nightly reading, it was a lesson that I needed to hear and it reminded me that my life is not for me to live and receive glory, but for Him and His glory.

And although I sin and struggle, I know and take comfort in the fact that I am a continual work in progress. And for that, I cannot praise and thank Him enough. Paul reaffirmed this by telling writing that "For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him" (Philippians 2:13).

So yes, I'm not perfect and I know that. But knowing that God accepts me and loves me for who I am and who I've been reminds me how perfect He is. God is good, amen?

So now I'm turning the tables on you. Do you struggle with blog numbers and stats? I'd like to think it's something we all struggle with, but if it's not something that gets to you, do you have any tips or advice? And what has God been doing in your life lately?

22 comments

  1. Girl, YES. This post is something that has been stirring in my heart, too. I feel like this may be a continual struggle for me in blogging, constantly checking my heart and my motives. And that has led me to realize that I need to check my motives in ALL things, because I hate to admit it, but sometimes my motives just plain suck.

    So thankful that we have a God who can take my filthy little heart and clean it white as snow :)

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    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one with this struggle! And honestly, I do think this will be a continual struggle for me, too. And that is such a good point and good reminder to check our motives in other parts of our lives, too. You're definitely not the only one, girl! Many of my motives are often self-centered, too!

      And yes! Thank goodness we have such a forgiving and loving God!!

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  2. Although not everyone will admit it, I think this is something a lot of us struggle with. When it comes to my blog, I feel the importance to pray about it. Pray for the post inspirations. Pray for His words. Pray for the readers. Do I always do this? No. But I am trying to really tune in and write the posts that I feel Him breathing on. For example, there is a post that I have tried writing about four times now, and have never felt peace in posting it. The part of me that wanted attention and a space to complain desires to rashly hit "publish" but I know He is telling me to step back.

    I think we need to continuously be offering up our blog to Him, as it is a means of ministry! Thank you for this reminder Kiki :)

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    1. So true! I think it's something that we don't really want to admit and yet I think it's something that can actually bring us together as Christians blogging sisters. And yes, prayer is definitely powerful and so helpful.

      And girl, reading that you're holding off on publishing a post is such an inspiration to be obedient and to pray about everything. Thank you for sharing that! :)

      And yes, offering up our blogs to Him definitely is something we need to do continually. Blogging is most definitely a ministry, too! That's something I honestly forget about but it definitely is and it's going to be a new prayer of mine to make sure my blog stays that way. :)

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  3. Absolutely, gral! I left Facebook because I was too "addicted" to people's accolades and cyper-attention...but I've found that same "trap" has been waiting for me right here in Blogger, too. I often find myself reading my bible and "learning" something new from the Lord...through the mental perspective of "how this would look in a blog post," even as I'm still in the midst of a prayer! So not right and so not what the Lord has in mind. I want people to encouraged and share in the wonder of God through whatever I'm learning...but I also confess to wanting to also look like Miss Super-Christian...even as I adamantly support "transparency and honesty" on my blog.

    Kiki, this is an awesome post! Thank you for once again be that gutsy girl who's brave enough to be so honest! A million hugs to you!

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    1. I've been thinking more and more about Facebook lately. It's been something that I'm torn between. Recently, I've changed to only checking it once or twice a day (which is kinda big step for this girl). And so far, it's been a great change. And just so you know, you definitely influenced me to take that step! So thank YOU! :)

      And I totally get what you mean with blogging. I just took a 24 hour break from blogging/responding and blog reading and it was actually kind of nice, too. Sometimes I think we just need to take a step back and rejuvenate.

      I also have those same feelings--wondering and formulating potential blog posts while reading the Bible or journaling. It's definitely not right, even if we have "good intentions" when blogging. Thank you for sharing that, girl! :)

      And thank you for being a gutsy girl, too!

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  4. Oh sweety, I think this is something that many Christian bloggers struggle with. One thing I've realized recently is that is doesn't have to be stats/numbers OR Christ. It can be stats/numbers AND Christ. He cares about what we care about. If you want to reach a lot of people, that's fine, as long as you're not compromising your relationship with the Lord. You're such a sweet girl!

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    1. Thank you for that reassurance! I think it's something that will honestly be a struggle for me a lot. And I love that perspective. God DOES care about what we care about and I guess I've never really thought that God cares about my blog--which is weird, but true! :) And yes, yes, yes! Making sure I don't compromise my relationship with Him is so important.

      Thank you for sharing this! I seriously love your perspective and willingness to share it with me!

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  5. i believe that most everyone you talk to will say, honestly, that yes we struggle with numbers. Why? because numbers make us feel important, validated, even..."worthy". All of these things are definitely damaging in our self-view and in our relationship with God. I think it's good to take a step back and re-evaluate the "why" and the "what am i doing" and re-focus on using this as a way to bring God glory...i'm constantly finding myself doing that. <3
    You're not alone.
    Also, let me say that your posts have definitely been hitting a chord, which just goes to show that God uses all things in some way to bring Him Glory! <3

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    1. Yes. That is so true and that is exactly how I feel about myself when I look at numbers and stats. But making sure we find our worth in and from God is so much better. Girl, thank you so much for writing this. Seriously, you don't even know how encouraging this is for me!

      And thank you for telling me I'm not alone! Sometimes I honestly do feel like I'm the only one or that I shouldn't tell people that I'm struggling so thank you for reassuring me and reminding me that I'm not alone (and that God and friends like you are with me!). :)

      And thanks for those sweet words! Your posts definitely hit a chord with me, too!

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  6. AMEN. This post hit home with me today. I've been having some trouble with coming up with blog posts and realizing that if I don't have anything, I can't force it. That's not genuine or fair to my readers. I want them to see ME when I'm really being me, not when I'm forcing a post out. I struggle with the numbers too so you're not alone at all! I think everyone can relate to this at some point. The best part is that God is constantly renewing us and changing us! I'll be praying for you friend :)

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    1. Girl, your comment needs an AMEN! Seriously, reminding myself that blogging is not my entire life and that forced posts are not normally good posts is something I need to do on a daily basis. And thanks for telling me I'm not alone! Hearing that from you is such a reassurance and comfort. And yes, thank goodness for a God who stays the same but is continually working in and through us! Thanks for the prayers, friend! :)

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  7. Sadly--I can relate more than a simple comment could convey. No wonder I've lost the spark with my blog of late...I've just been "forcing" it, y'know? *Sigh* So that's where I've been...but I will be taking a break since it's Easter...unofficial break as it is. ;) But--this is where I'm at. <3

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    1. Yes! I know exactly what you mean about forced blog posts. It's somewhere I've been too, friend! You're not alone and this! You deserve a break and I'll be praying that you get the rest and refreshment to get back into blogging if that's where God is leading you!

      Thank you for sharing this with me! :)

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  8. I think everyone struggles with this at one point or another. Thanks for the reminder though! Your posts are seriously inspiring and there is no doubt in my mind you have genuine motives! You have made me think and challenge my thinking and grow closer to God through multiple posts... thank you!

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    1. Thank you! I honestly think the same thing about you, friend! It's been so great to have a chance to get to know you through our blogs. And thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone--it's so hard to remember that from behind my computer screen sometimes! :)

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  9. I love that you love the Lord that you want to serve Him even with your blog to show His Love. Love you girl!! I got to catch up on your blog today and I'm so encouraged by your thoughts!

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    1. Girl, thank you for that encouragement! I am so grateful for our friendship and ability to read and be encouraged by you and your blog, too! :)

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  10. I am so glad you had this sweet moment with Jesus! I think that every blogger (believer or not) comes to a place when they ask "what is my blog? why do i do this? what is it for?" I have had to give my blog over to the Lord countless times. I want it to be an outlet for His glory to shine through me - i don't want to compare or compete with others but just be myself. it is when i make sure my heart alines with the Lord that He can shine. I want to be real, authentic, and a friend. when i get caught in numbers and stats I can get distracted. I look at what other's have and I don't. but when i follow his leadings. pray before i post. let Him inspire my blog - He blesses it. and I am not meaning in numbers but I am meaning emails that say the Lord used my blog to help them draw near the Lord, or work at the camp I worked at because they saw how much it changed me for good, or the Lord using the giveaway to answer a prayer in a young girl's heart. THAT is why i blog. and that is why i want to blog.

    my advice? aline your heart with the Father. stay in His word daily. and lay your blog at His feet!

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    1. I definitely have those thoughts and internal questions! And I'm so glad you shared that you've given your blog over to Him multiple times. That's something I feel like I have to do daily just to keep myself in check. And yes, making sure He shines through us is what's most important.

      And girl, you most definitely are real, authentic, and a friend! You don't even know how grateful I am that you reached out to me for that giveaway! :)

      And thank you for those words of advice. Remembering to pray before I hit publish or before I even start typing up a blog post is something I've been trying to do (still a challenge for me, though!). And yes, hearing encouraging words from readers and friends is such a wonderful reason to blog. Community and friendships from blogging has been such a blessing! :)

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  11. Oh I struggle with that- and I definitely still do. Not that my blog is like huge or anything. It's really easy to compare yourself to others or be overly excited about comments and followers. I just try to catch myself thinking those thoughts and lay it down again. again and again. But I doubt I will ever fully be rid of that desire, because that struggle is so innately human.

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    1. Yes. Thank you for sharing that you struggle with it, too! It's definitely a struggle for me to give EVERYTHING to Him and remember that doing that is what's best for me and my relationship with Him. And I definitely agree, I don't think I'll ever get rid of that struggle either. Thank goodness we have a God who is so forgiving and who continually seeks us, too! :)

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© IN ITS TIMEMaira Gall