May 7, 2013

not worth my time.

worth
I have mixed feelings writing about today's topic. But before I continue, I guess I should share what the topic for today's Blog Every Day in May Challenge is: "the thing(s) you're most afraid of."

I have mixed feelings about this topic because while I have dozens of fears (i.e. heights, being single forever, snakes, rejection, failure, fire, big spiders, etc.), I also know and believe that these fears aren't worth my time and relationship with Christ.

Now, I'm not trying to be arrogant or disrespectful, I just don't want to continue my fearful tendencies. You see, I have a terrible tendency of listening to my fears instead of God. Especially when He's telling me not to be afraid, but to be strong and courageous because He's there. He goes before me, He stands by my side, and  He's right there to catch me if I fall.

Currently, the fear that I've been struggling with the most is my future--specifically my job/career situation. I have yet to really share this because I've had mixed feelings about sharing it but with today's topic and God's timing, I know this is anything but a coincidence.

Most of you know that I graduated from college in March. You also probably know I have a passion for teaching. You would think this would lead me to pursue teaching (read: more school), but instead, I've been struggling with confusion about where God's calling me next. If it's teaching, if it's some sort of therapy for kids, or if it's something else entirely.

Ultimately, I want nothing else but to serve God and follow His calling for me; but right now, I'm just not sure what that is. And it freaks me out, to put it simply. I feel like as a college grad, I should have all of this figured out, you know? And while I know this is anything but the truth, it's something I still struggle with because it seems like everyone else has it figured out.

Which means I'm comparing myself with others, not fully trusting God, and living with fears and worries at the same time. And all of this is far too great a burden for me to carry. Honestly, I am just overwhelmed. There's so much sin and so much heaviness in my life right now and it's leaving me exhausted.

Fortunately, God cares. God picks me up, carries me, and rescues me. He rescues me from the sin that's been burying me and leaving me confused.

So while things are still unfinished and there are a lot of unknowns in my life, I can rest in the fact that He is there for me and that He does have plans for me, even if they haven't been revealed yet. Trusting Him right now is a challenge, but I know that if I leave my cares and worries with Him, my load will be a lot lighter.

So while I have fears (some of them more ridiculous than others), I choose to remind myself that these fears do not deserve my time. And they don't deserve your time, either!

I know thousands of others have said this, but God tells us not to be afraid 365 times in the Bible. That one was done for a reason, don't you think?

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6





16 comments

  1. Preach it, gral! This is such a great post, something I need to be reminded of so much! My irrational fears are things like frogs and being under water...but other other fears? Like you, there's fear of failure. Fear of God allowing something bad to happen to my family. Fear of what He'll ask of me if I truly let it all go for Him.

    I've been pretty stale lately spiritually (refer to this morning's post) but I'm reaching the point where I'm just...tired of it. At least for this phase of the never ending cycle of "ups and downs" of faith. I want to be different than I am...but I'm fighting my flesh for victory, because my flesh wants to be in control and it's so easy to let my FEAR be my excuse for holding on.

    Thanks for this!! :)

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    1. Thank YOU for this comment, friend! It's something that I've been really thinking about lately (and I obviously have a lot to say about it, too!). But I realized last night just how much time I was wasting by worrying and thinking that I'm failing by not succeeding in society's terms.

      Fear is definitely tiring and a waste of time, don't you think? I've realized just how easily I let it consume me and how much bolder I need and want to be right now! Now I just need to act instead of simply type!

      And those irrational fears? I'm with you on BOTH of them! I'm definitely not a girl made for water or amphibians! :)

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  2. amen!!! praise the Lord that He directs our steps. He has good and perfect plans for you as you continue to seek His will!!! you will be amazing at whatever you do, because the Lord is laying down the path for you :)

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    1. Amen to what you said, too! I've definitely been praying for patience lately as I wait and see where He leads me next--it's definitely hard sometimes, though! :)

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  3. Fear is not worth my time.... LOOOOOOVE IT!

    Psalm 119:105 comes to mind. (Sorry! I'm one of those annoying people that has a verse for everything. :))

    Anyways... it says "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." The way I see it is that we aren't supposed to know the full plan. Instead, He gives us just enough light for the next step. Every time we take the next step we see a little farther.

    We don't have to have the entire path figured out... just the next step. (It's so much less overwhelming when I think of life like this!) And as I take each step as God directs I will find that I end up right where I was supposed to end up.

    You'll get it all figured out. And chances are it will look nothing like you imagined but in it's own way it will all be so much more amazing than you ever imagined. :)

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    1. Don't apologize at all! I love rediscovering good verses and realizing how verses in the Bible can apply to every experience and situation in life. So please, keep on sharing them with me!

      Speaking of which, I LOVE your take on that verse (I also love how Bible verses can hold multiple meanings, too!) and I think I'll definitely adopt that interpretation. :)

      Amen! It is SO much less overwhelming to move in steps, not marathons. Because I can't physically or spiritually run those!

      And thank you so much for your comments--sometimes I feel like I don't have anything figured out. But I really do; especially since I know that He does have everything under control!

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  4. Kiki -

    I can tell you from my experience...I always knew I wanted to be a teacher...so that's what I did. After about 5 years, my heart was so discontent. Not just with teaching, but because what I was learning through his word. He then took me on this amazing journey. It has been crazy, scary, humbling, challenging, and the best thing I have ever done. It far exceeds what I ever could have imagined. I know you are seeking him...continue to do that and then "DO". Have action to where you feel he is leading in even little areas, sometimes that opens a door. And have others pray...ask 5 people that are close to you to dedicate 1 week to praying for you and see if they hear anything from the Lord :)

    I know how hard it is to wait for the Lord...but has he told the Israelites, we only have to be silent :)

    Ashlee
    http://theredeemedrunner.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for your wisdom! It's so hard for me to do the "DO" part of that, but being reminded of His greatness and His perfect plans for me (and reading it in His Word and in blogs like yours!) is such a comfort for a worrywart like me. :)

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  5. that is a different take on the subject and its definitely something to think about and ponder. i don't always trust or lay everything down like i should and i totally let fear take control sometimes. its just something you need to be mindful of and learn to trust.

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    1. It definitely is hard to do! Fear is something that I've struggled with my ENTIRE life (and still do, obviously). And I definitely agree, being mindful and catching myself in my fearful tendencies helps me A LOT. That, and reading blogs, digging into His Word, and listening to worship music, too. So much wisdom in those sources! :)

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  6. Yes, yes, yes! I like that..."Fear is not worth my time!" Yes, ma'm!! I love that the words, "Fear not" is in the Bible 365 times- the Lord knew we would need to remind ourselves every day!!!

    Are you writing those beautiful words on the paper? I love your writing!! So pretty!

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    1. I know, I LOVED finding out that God tells us not to be afraid 365 times in the Bible. And I love that in a way, it's reminder that we all need to hear it and that I'm not alone in these struggles.

      And I wrote on the post about what I do (the one on white paper). The writing on this post's photo is actually just typed up. So I cheated on this one. :)

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  7. i have nothing to add to this...you said it beautifully as always Kiki! <3

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  8. Oh sweety, I'm sorry you're struggling with this!!! The Lord definitely has a place for you and He'll certainly guide you to it! Keep trusting Him! :-)

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    1. Thanks! It's definitely still a struggle, but typing it out has really helped me process it all and while I still have no idea what will happen next, I can rest in the fact that He's got it all under control. Sometimes, it's the trusting God with ALL of my heart that is the hardest! :)

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© IN ITS TIMEMaira Gall