July 3, 2013


A fear of people. Never did I ever think that that was A.) a fear and B.) a fear that I would have.

I love people. I honestly do. And I've come to realize this the older I get. I used to shy away from talking to people, but now I crave conversation (as well as alone time) and I love meeting new people. And as much as I love kids, I also love parents and families as well. Which is funny, because  parent-teacher conferences were my greatest fear during my student teaching experience.

But I had the privilege of getting to know some amazing parents and they reminded me that parents are as much people as the children I teach and they're just as interesting to talk to, too.

Just as quickly as I dropped that fear, though, I pretty much picked up a new one. And they're both about people. But this time, it's not about fearing the interaction as much as it's fearing the impressions I make. 

Lately, while prepping for Sunday School lessons, I've found myself fearing what the adults (classroom assistants) think of me as a teacher. And it makes me wonder if I'm good enough. Are my lessons long enough? Am I teaching the lesson correctly? Am I too young to teach? Too under-qualified and inexperienced?

I have to chuckle at those thoughts, really. Not because those things are or are not true, but because, if I was really paying attention to the lesson content--and not my fears and worries--I would have realized that the lesson I was prepping for was really prepping me for teaching.

You see, the lesson was on Moses and how God is with us all the time, even (and especially) when we're afraid. I was teaching the lesson that God was with Moses when his family hid him in their house, when he floated down the river in a basket, and when he was discovered by a princess. God was with him the entire time.

Had I really paid attention, I would have remembered that God was and is always with me, too.
He doesn't care about my experience level or qualifications. He wants to use me to do great things, I only have to say yes.

I'm sure many of you have read this passage before, but it's so amazing to see how God uses the ordinary do the extraordinary, isn't it? God told Moses to free His people. Moses, on the other hand, was a little unsure about these plans.

Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I’m not very good with words. 
I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. 
I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled."

Then the Lord asked Moses, "Who makes a person’s mouth? 
Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see?
 Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! 
I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."

 Exodus 4:10-11 (NLT)

Yeah. So I think that lesson was written for just as much for me as it was for the kids I taught the lesson to. And just to reiterate that point, I started reading Jeremiah this week and started off this great book with this conversation between God and Jeremiah:

"O Sovereign Lord," I said, "I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!"

The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. 
And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you."

Jeremiah 1:5-8 (NLT)

Just more proof that God does great things if we trust in His plans. He doesn't want our fears (which can so easily turn to excuses!) to rule our lives. And it's also a reminder that even people like Jeremiah and Moses had fears that they overcame when they trusted in Him.

So I'm here to say that I'm working on dropping this fear. It's still a struggle, but remembering that God speaks through me is of great comfort. He does wonders through me as much as He does wonders in me. It's not about me and my teaching, it's about Him and His glory.


  1. Amen girl! Our posts today seem to go hand in hand. Funny the way God teaches us his lessons. When I was in education I also feared what parents would think--but I'm so glad you were able to overcome that! If it's not one thing it's another though... Life is constantly about overcoming fears and learning lessons. Not always fun, but it always seems to bring us closer to God.

    1. I love that we had matching posts--and how they were totally unintentional, too! Just another sign of God's amazing timing and that He teaches us lessons in many ways!

      And I'm still working to overcome it and I know I will likely have this fear again when I actually have my own classroom! But you're so right, life is constantly about overcoming fears and learning lessons--I couldn't have said it better! And that's a great perspective, it's His lessons for me that really bring me closer to Him. Thanks for that reminder! :)

  2. I loved prepping like this for Sunday school or my classes in the past. It always encouraged me so much!

    1. It really does encourage me! And it's always funny to realize that these lessons are just as much for me as they are for the kids I teach. :)

  3. This is such good stuff, Kiki! You write so transparently, which gives extra punch to your words. I love how this is applied to Sunday School teaching. Even though I'm the only adult with my Sunday School kids, I have that same fear - of the parents or other church people seeing me and thinking that I'm not doing a good job. Okay, so maybe I am still a wee bit rusty with my teaching skills (five years on the shelf leaves it's mark) but that's not really the point. The point is that God has called me to speak His truth to these kids. It's not a performance of my talents, but a display of GOD. Only God. Not Kellie.

    Thank you!

    1. So glad you can relate--sometimes I feel like things like this aren't going to make sense to anyone else. :)

      And yes, it IS all about Him. Not me, but Him.

  4. So true that our desire to look good to people so often falls more important than our desire to be pleasing in God's sight. Great read friend!

    Patterned Love

    1. Yes! Well said, Naomi! It's all about Him in the end, isn't it? :)

  5. Isn't it awesome how God speaks to us even through lessons we're planning for Sunday School? He is so amazing!!! Praise the Lord that he's changing your heart and relieving you of your fears!

    1. It really is! It's times like these that I really love Him more and am so grateful for His presence in my life. And it's definitely a "praise God" moment! I couldn't thank Him enough for taking my fears and sins away! :)


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