October 29, 2014
ON BEING GOOD ENOUGH.
As much as I love fall (the apples, the cooler weather, the leaves!), I also find that it's one of the most stressful times of the year for me. There's so much to get done at work and so little time to get it done.
So much to worry about. So much to think about. So much to do!
And as each year starts, I start to worry if I'm good enough. If I'm old enough, experienced enough, qualified enough. The kids don't worry me as much as the parents, to be honest. As a young teacher, a lot of parents look at me as if I don't know anything even though I've worked with preschoolers for nearly half my life (I started volunteering to help in preschool Sunday School classes in 6th grade).
I let it all go to my head. Part of me wants to prove them wrong but the other half wants to shrivel up and second-guess myself. I know that I've got what it takes but I let their thoughts (even if they don't say it aloud) go to my head and let it speak louder than the truth.
I've never had a good feeling of self-confidence. I've had bouts, but I've always struggled with feeling good enough, whether it's my body, my smarts, or in this case, my job. I'm not writing this asking for sympathy or a "you're amazing, girl!" but rather because I weirdly enough need to remember this and get this out of my system. I need to write about it and I need to let it all go.
I may not be the best teacher out there, I may still have things to learn (because I do and truly believe we all can learn), but I am enough. I am here, doing this job for a reason and I need to remember that comparison won't help. And that I can't let the thoughts or words of another person break me down and prevent me from
And thanks to these amazing posts by Darling Magazine and The Everygirl, I'm learning to tell myself that I am good enough. Not the best, but good enough. And I'm also trying to incorporate more of these things into my life, too:
+Stop comparing. I find that when I compare myself to others, I'm never good enough. Whether it be the people on television, the people on Facebook, or the people I work with, I cannot compare myself to them. Comparison truly robs me of joy.
+Give myself more credit. Not because I deserve it, but because I need to view myself in a better way.
+Realize and accept that I can't be the best. It's just not possible. Perfection isn't possible. And while it may seem depressing to some, I see it as potential for growth and a reason to relax a bit, too.
So do you ever have feelings of not being good enough? What do you do to prevent/cure it?