April 29, 2015



To accept or regard something as truth (from Merriam Webster).

What did April bring in terms of believing? Well, lots of moments that I didn't believe, really.

It's easy to believe when life is easy and good. But it's more than 10 times harder when life is tough.

And it's in those moments, that I come to a point where I can either believe or I can doubt.

That "can" part implies an option. And this month I realized that faith is completely a choice. I can choose to believe and choose to doubt. I can choose to grow or I can choose to stand still and let my emotions get the best of me. And I can choose Jesus or I can choose sin.

This month, many of my choices were made in times of weakness, and in those moments, I chose sin over Jesus. I chose negativity instead of hope. And I chose doubt over belief.

Which is why I'm so grateful for second chances. And the chance to re-do my choices. And today, I choose Him.

What did/do you believe this month? Do you still think about your word for the year and/or resolutions for 2015?


  1. I had a similar experience with my word, i'm dreading writing about it but reading this was encouraging, thank you for sharing your struggles along with your joys :)

  2. My word for this year was Intentional. I have not been doing very well lately. Hopefully May will be better.

  3. Aw, thanks Lizelle. It's comments and words like these that keep me going. :)

  4. Wow, that is a great word. I have actually been thinking more and more about being intentional--have you heard of the blog, Hello Neverland? The blogger, Kenzie, chose intentional for her word of the year, too! :)

  5. Kiki, I know you didn't, but I feel like you wrote this for me! I had a pretty major emotional breakdown yesterday and let my emotions get the best of me. I had bottled things up for a while and then exploded. I turned to self pity, thoughts of doubt and disbelief. I am so thankful for God's redeeming love. Without Him, I couldn't get through. Thanks for this gentle reminder, Kiki!

  6. Jenna, friend, you have no idea how much those words mean to me. It's been a struggle these past few weeks and I've definitely let my emotions and frustrations get the best of me. Let's just say God intervened when I needed it. I was full of hurt and anger (because of the hurt) and then really started to just feel ICKY inside. So grateful for His love, His grace, and His ability to make ALL things new. :)

  7. It seems like a lot of people (including me) are having a rough month of it. Hopefully May showers bring peace and less stress ;) I definitely choose negativity over hope many times, and it's something I'm slooowly working on.

  8. I would agree! It's unfortunate, but it is relieving to know I'm not in it alone. I hope that May brings peace and less stress, too! Sorry to hear that you've been having a rough month as well.

    And I am constantly working on choosing hope over negativity--it's definitely something that is a work in progress!

  9. I have! She does so much better on being intentional than I have. I'm trying to get back on the bandwagon.

  10. She really is quite remarkable. But if you ask me, just being aware of your desire to be intentional (or your intentions on being intentional!) is good in and of itself! :)

  11. Amen sister- second chances are potentially the best part of our walk with Jesus. Praying that this month you find grace and strength to choose faith over negativity. I definitely am still thinking about my word of the year (generous) and how to live it out. I think about it almost every day :)

  12. Aw, thanks friend. There have definitely been lots of redeeming and amazing moments this month and I'm grateful that May has been a pretty good one so far. :)

    And I love your word for the year! How have I not heard about it until now? You're definitely living it out in your blog comments and presence--your words and always so heartfelt and encouraging!

  13. amen and amen.
    the whole point of the gospel is that Jesus came to save sinners.
    praise God we are redeemed and covered in grace and mercy.
    i'm so proud of your transparency here - so happy that you really were honest with no only what has been happening, but how it has been CHANGING you. <3

  14. Amen right back at you! :) Seriously though, it's amazing just how forgiving God is. He surprises me because just when I thought I was at my lowest, He'll sweep me up and pick me off my feet. So grateful for grace!!!


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