April 13, 2015

BELIEVE CHECK-IN | MARCH.

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Maybe it's just hormones, but every so often I get really down-in-the-dumps about my appearance. I'll look in the mirror in the mornings and hate how my jeans don't fit. How my shirt is fitted at just the wrong places. How my face still manages to host a breakout. And how my hair doesn't shine but my lovely face does after a long day of work.

I've always been hard on myself. I'm more than capable of encouraging and lifting others up, but when it comes to myself, I honestly have a really hard time finding worth in my appearance.

I know this isn't a new concept for women, and I'm not writing this for sympathy or a flood of "but you're so beautiful!" in the comments. Nope, I'm writing this simply because I hope I'm not the only one (as this wise friend wrote in her own post).

So to say that this month's challenge to believe was easy, would be an understatement. I'm starting to believe more in terms of my relationship with Christ, but I'm failing in terms of my relationship and love for myself.

Not too long ago, Jenna shared this Dove commercial on Facebook and I knew that it couldn't have come with better timing.

These past few weeks, the lies that I've been telling myself each morning and night have turned into truths. Truths that my mind cannot separate fact from fiction. And it's rough.

Rough because I know that I was created for a purpose. That God created us uniquely, with purpose, and with so much value.

But the lies? They're overpowering me and they're making it hard for me to believe those truths.

So I'm not going to say that I've overcome and have learned to believe in my value, because to be honest, I still haven't. I'm still wading through the lies and am trying to be kinder to myself and my body.

Trying to find more positives in the negatives and more truths that are being buried by lies.

I refuse to let sin win. And I want the Truth to prevail.

I just need to start believing it.

32 comments

  1. Like any good Father, he'll remind you as many times as you need. His love never fails or gives up. Or gets annoyed at having to remind you of things you already know. Believe me. This I have to keep reminding MYSELF!

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  2. Kiki, I love your spirit so much, and I want you to know that you are definitely not alone. I hide myself and give up on myself every other day out of shame for the way I look or the way I don't look.


    Your post made me think: how much of life must I be sacrificing every time I do this to myself?


    Thanks for sharing such a personal topic :)

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  3. Lately I've been reading Philippians over and over. It is really speaking to where I am right now. I read this verse a few days ago that hopefully you are encouraged by as much as I was: 1 Phil. 1:6 "And I am certain that God,
    who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is
    finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." You won't fully master belief yet, but God is doing a work in you that he will continue, and when he comes back it will be complete :) Chin up, friend!

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  4. Lots of head nodding here. I think we all struggle with this as much as we know we shouldn't. For me, the things that I thought would be the most harmful to my self-esteem have surprisingly been the opposite. When I started my blog and started doing outfit posts I thought I would feel so self-conscious and constantly compare myself to other style bloggers with perfect bodies, perfect skin, etc. While I can't escape the comparison game, as much as I try, putting myself out there on the internet has actually made me more accepting of myself and my flaws. Probably because the blog world is just so dang awesome and supportive. Secondly, having a baby forced me to see my body in a different way--it forced me to see the importance of its function, not just how it looks from the outside. I certainly don't think it TAKES having a baby to see yourself that way, but that's just something that I thought would make me feel worse but instead did the opposite.
    Whew, that was a novel. Basically, I'm just trying to say I feel you. And you ARE beautiful!

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  5. Yep. We all fight this. Satan wants to fill us with lies and keep us from being effective for Christ. He'll tell us anything we might believe that will shut us down. Keep clinging to His truths! My favorite is Eph 2:10. :)

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  6. Oh girl, I am in this with you. Thanks for being real and honest and creating space for other women to relate. That's a beautiful thing!

    I am praying for you today that your heart would be encouraged in truth and overwhelmed by God's sweet love for you!

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  7. Amen sister. This reminds me of a sermon I saw sometime recently that spoke about the 'as a man believing so is he' concept. They were talking about how the mind (what we think of ourselves) shapes the brain (how our brain actually crafts iself around these beliefs and can change to reflect them physically) It was both amazing and scary realising how we could literally be changing the way our body works, how electrical pulses map their way through matter simply by the thoughts we choose to entrain and enforce.

    It made me really appreciate positive self image in a brand new way.

    Anyway, sorry for the ramble, that's just what your post made me think of, here's to winning!

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  8. Girl, you are NOT alone. And I will say that I thought my self confidence would improve once I got married... WRONG. Not to be discouraging at all but just to say that self worth is really only found in Jesus (preaching to myself here). Sometimes I think about how satan wants us to be down in the dumps about ourselves because it diminishes our power in the kingdom because we take our eyes off the King and start doubting our abilities and our purpose. Sometimes framing it this way and seeing satan for the devious schemer he is really helps motivate me because I think "You will NOT destroy the power I have through Christ in this kingdom" and "satan, you wish you could make me ineffective". I almost get competitive with it like showing satan what he DOESN'T have power over. praying for you friend and all of us women that struggle with the same things.

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  9. We've all been there. There are times and seasons when one facet of truth is harder to believe, but this time will pass.

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  10. Hey Kiki, you're not alone! :) Jess Connolly taught a great class for the Infuence Network a couple of months ago about speaking truth to ourselves. When someone in the class (me) asked a question about what she should do with thoughts about her body, such as "I don't like my legs," Jess stopped her dead and said "Did God say there was anything wrong with your legs??"

    The next time you hear yourself critiquing what you don't like, ask yourself, "Did God say that about me??" Cause His words are the only real truth.

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  11. you definitely are not alone! Agree with Anna below. Unfortunately as women we are our worst critics and put strange expectations on ourselves. When we need to be looking at how much we have to be thankful for and how beautiful you are because you are YOU! Noone else can be - you are perfectly made!

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  12. Oh gosh, I needed that reminder. That truth, those words to really just shake up the lies that have been swallowing up all the truths in my mind and heart. Thank YOU! :)

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  13. So grateful for friends like you who TRULY understand how I'm feeling. And for that amazing question you posed, too. How much of myself and my life am I sacrificing (and am I willing to sacrifice) by telling myself that? Yep, definitely going to have to remember that one.

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  14. Love how encouraging you are--I can feel it with just a short comment! :)

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  15. I love that book in the Bible (among many others!) and love that you said I won't master belief yet. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to master things right away but your words reminded me that it's HIM who completes me! Thank you for that! :)

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  16. Wow, that's awesome! I definitely would have thought that putting myself out there would make it easier for me to compare myself with others (one of the reasons why I've had a hard time with my selfie project!) but it's cool to hear that it's done just the opposite for you.


    I also love what you said about how having a baby and being a mom has changed you. I think that our culture (including me) puts a lot of worth and emphasis on how our body looks as opposed to what our body does. Recently, I've started trying to remind myself that I want to be healthy, no matter what it looks like because it will always look different on a different person!


    And girl, thank you SO much for those words and for reminding me that I'm not alone. You have no idea how much better it makes me feel!! :)

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  17. First of all, my heart is already overwhelmed with truth and love--much of which is thanks to you, sweet friend! Thank you SO much for just shining His light in times of trouble where the darkness was closing in. So grateful for friends like you!


    p.s. You'll have to send me your new address so I can send some snail mail your way!

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  18. AMEN to that. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone and that I need to fight the good fight to listen and be filled with the Truth. You are a gem, Laura! :)

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  19. What a fascinating sermon! I've never listened or heard of anything like that, but it really does sound fascinating! :) Thanks for sharing it!

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  20. So true, so true. I have definitely had moments where believing truths is easier than others. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement!

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  21. You have spoken so much truth in my life, Finley! You're right, we are most definitely our own worst critics--and I'm also quite terrible when it comes to perfectionism and over-thinking and setting unrealistic expectations for myself.


    Thank you, sweet friend!!!

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  22. Wow, that is SO good. SOOOOO good. I need to remember to cling to and remember HIS words, not the words of satan. Thank you for that sweet reminder--I need to write that down and hang it up on my mirror!! :)

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  23. I'm glad you reminded me of that. It's easy for me to think that people can lift me up, but their words are only temporary--it's HIS words, HIS truths, HIS love that will truly fulfill!


    And I will definitely be seeing satan in that point of view from now on! Another friend also commented and said that when times like this come up, I need to ask myself who's speaking to me, God or satan. So grateful for the words you speak into my life! :)

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  24. Oooo that's so good what your other friend said about being aware of who is talking to us. Thanks for sharing! Thanks for being so vulnerable, be encouraged friend.

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  25. Thank YOU for sharing your wisdom with me! I always know it's going to be a good one when I see the comment notification from you. :)

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  26. Right back at ya lovely lady xx

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  27. I was mostly saying it for my own benefit. I definitely put stress on myself to master things right away. It's comforting for me to remember that I'm not really supposed to have mastered it yet :)

    *Amanda* | The Lady Okie Blog

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  28. So well said! I think that learning to believe in our value is a lifelong process because I most definitely am still learning too :)

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  29. So much truth in those two sentences. Remembering to believe in His truth is SO important, especially when the lies are coming at you head-on. Thanks for reminding me to seek HIS love, not the world's. :)

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  30. Good point! I know that it's something I'll have to remind myself of for the rest of my life and it's good to know I'm not the only one! :)

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© IN ITS TIMEMaira Gall