April 20, 2015

NOT MY WILL.

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I've been struggling lately accepting where I'm at. I've found myself unhappy with where I'm at, wondering what will come next and anticipating a new season of life in more ways than one. And so much so that I've been praying and pleading and asking God to please, pretty please, bring me to a new place.

And yet I'm still here. Just the same as where I was before.

And it was that frustration that brought me to realize that I don't always get my way. And yet, I was reacting to that truth with temper tantrums and whining, just the kind of stuff that I hate hearing myself.

I can't speak for you, but I know that I have a hard time remembering that God's plans are filled with PURPOSE. There's a reason why we're trudging through the season we're in, even if we don't always enjoy it.

There's a reason why we've been called to be the employees, the family members, the friends, and the bloggers that we are. We may not always appreciate our jobs or our purpose, but we're there for a very good reason (even if we don't know what it is!).

So maybe this doesn't resonate with you, maybe you don't understand where I'm at. But I pray that if you do, you would cling to the truth that His plans are perfect and that He's got you right where you need to be in this moment.

Instead of praying "get me out of here" my new prayer for this week is that His will be done, NOT mine. 

24 comments

  1. Yes. So much truth here.


    Seasons might seem long, but they do not last forever.

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  2. Did i ever need to hear this today. I've started attacking it by praying for His peace to descend upon me and fill me up. That way, there can be no room for anxiety...Them long seasons can really get a person heated though I wont lie haha

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  3. Amen amen amen! Girl I hear you on this and it hits so deeply for me. I've always been one to live in the future and I get so frustrated when I feel stuck in life. I definitely go through periods where it's worse and a couple of months ago was one of those times. I memorized Psalm 27:13-14 and focusing on that really helped pull me out of that particular season of frustration and discontentment. Definitely check it out :) sending love and prayers your way!

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  4. amen, amen, amen! i am in a similar place as you! you're right though... i should be praying for His will, not mine!

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  5. I am struggling with that as well. I am trying to be observant of the present instead of where I could be going. It's been tough, but I need to sit in the now rather than past or future.

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  6. Oh my goodness. You pretty much had the same week that I had then. I've been so frustrated with where I am, and it feels icky. I finally realized last week that I've been taking it out on those closest to me and getting angry easily, so I spent a lot of time in prayer asking for a change of heart and the strength to trust. It's hard! Thanks for the reminder, Kiki!

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  7. I'm right there with you! I've been so anxious about my future lately. It's that time of life when I have to pick colleges, make money, buy a car, and be responsible. It's hard not to freak out. I want to control everything going on in my life and I want it MY WAY. But I have to surrender to what God wants for me. And sometimes, that's a hard task. It's a daily process of asking God to take my anxious feelings and replace it with his peace about the future.

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  8. Ugh. I am right there with you this week, with the 'get me out of here' prayers. I was thinking maybe I'm just getting antsy for the end of the school year, or maybe frustrated with some administration decisions, but I guess really the problem is me and my discontented mindset. Do you ever read teacherdevotion.com? The post for this week made me laugh because of how appropriate it was for me.

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  9. Amen to that. Thank you for being a rock and light for me right now! :)

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  10. Me, too! I've just started praying more and more for peace lately. Peace and acceptance. And grace, too. We need to fill ourselves up with Him, not fear, negativity, and anxiety!


    And I'm glad you can relate in terms to seasons and how long they can be--I know the feeling! :)

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  11. Seasons definitely come and go and I am definitely in one of those seasons where I need to reminder to really just find contentment in my discontentment. I will be sure to read that passage tonight, thanks girl!!!

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  12. Oh girl, so glad I'm not alone and that we can go through our seasons of life together--even if we're miles apart. :)

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  13. Thanks, Laura! Just reading that reminded me that I'm never alone! :)

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  14. So well said. So very, well said. I am always the kind of person to think about the future and not one to think much about where I am in the moment. Here's to soaking up the seasons we're in and making the most of them! :)

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  15. That icky feeling is definitely there for me, Anna. I love that you've been so proactive and have really just jumped on your need to change your heart and mind. I've realized the same thing and have been praying for a different outlook on life. Trust definitely goes with that, too! :)

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  16. Madison! So good to hear from you, girl. :)


    And I've been thinking a lot about the future, too (as you could probably tell). It's so easy for me to plan and dream and totally push Him out of that picture all together--which is crazy, because this is the time where I would need Him and His guidance the most! :)


    I'll be praying for you, too! You've got a lot ahead of you and yet such a beautiful bright future ahead of you, too. He's got great plans for you, girl!!

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  17. Oh boy, do I know that feeling. I definitely think some of those feelings come from the end of the school year angst (especially when the weather is nice and the kids get that feeling, too!). I'm sorry to hear about your admin decisions! It's always tough to have to go through changes like that.


    But what you said really hit home to me. It's not necessarily what others are doing, but how I'm taking it. I need to start asking myself that same thing! :)


    And no, I've never heard of that site before! I can't wait to check it out, thanks!!!

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  18. Such a hard prayer to pray, but always, always worth it.

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  19. Amen to that (and thank you for sharing that truth with me!). :)

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  20. Wow. I definitely do not feel like a rock right now. It just amazes me how my words and actions go so much further than I intend.

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  21. Ah, this is so true! I think it is so easy to start comparing my life to others', and even, at times, comparing to some imagined better/future version of myself (she has perfect hair and doesn't get as stressed out as me, haha)… which then causes me to be unhappy and discontent with my current circumstances. This blinds me from seeing the opportunities God has brought in this season because I am so focused on the future or on what others have… and then it leads me to anxious thoughts and not trusting in God's sovereign providence and faithfulness. It's a vicious cycle, really!


    Thank you for your honesty, Kiki! I am currently praying through this because I have always been prone to be looking towards the future and missing out on the joy of today. And frankly, there are just too many blessings in today to do that! I miss out and then I end up feeling sorry for myself for what I do not yet have, ignorant of all that I do have today. In reality, my vision prescription is for seeing far away, but my spiritual/emotional vision prescription should be more for seeing what is near/right in front of me.

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  22. I know that feeling all too well. I definitely find myself comparing myself to others (and future/better versions of myself as well). You're right, though, they all cause unhappiness and discontent feelings. Which really should be a sign that I should stop doing it all together--easier said than done, though, right? :)


    And let's count blessings together, friend. I have a feeling it would make a great Circle topic for when we co-host!!! :)

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