THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

The struggle is real, guys. Somehow, in the midst of day-to-day life, the Enemy's lies started growing louder and increasing in quantity. It would always start off as a whisper, a little lie trying to disguise itself as truth. But slowly, that lie continued speaking into my heart and mind and replaced Truth completely.

For years now, fear has been the name of the game for me. Fear rooted in not being good/pretty/qualified/smart enough, fear that I'm not ready for the experience (will we ever be "ready," though?), and fear that opportunities were simply too good to be true. 

And it was in those lies, that I started to believe that any "good" Christian, any faithful believer, and true Jesus follower had to have it all put together, especially since I've known Him my entire life. I began thinking that every other Christian had everything figured out except me. 

I thought that since I've already been saved, I should be better off by now, shouldn't be battling with sin still, and that every other Christian around me was free from the pain, confusion, and hardships that I was enduring.

So in an effort to be like "them," I hid it all. I hid behind a mask of happiness and joy, thinking that if I faked it enough, it would surely come true. It was a fake Christian life, though. There was no real joy, no real love, no real life lived. Instead, I found myself scraping by, struggling to muster up strength for every waking moment. 

I built walls around me with those masks. And people believed that I was happy even though I was exhausted, lost, and worn out. I found myself trying to find answers from anything and anyone besides the One who holds them all (and holds me, too). And that's where I fed those lies. I fed them through my misconstrued thinking and worry-filled whispers from the Enemy. 

Fortunately, it doesn't end there. Slowly but surely, Truth has been re-entering my heart. God's been speaking to me through worship music, Bible studies, sermons, and podcasts, and I've let those walls come down brick by brick. 

I feel freer realizing that sin is a part of everyone's lives, even if we don't share it. And that just because we're Christians and believe in Jesus, it doesn't mean that we're sin-free or that sin won't try to make its way into our lives. In fact, I have a feeling the Enemy tries to attack us and unleash our insecurities even more as Christians because he wants us to enter bondage in sin instead of finding freedom in Christ. 

So if you're in need of some truth today, I hope you know that struggles are real. They're real for everyone, no matter your age, your career, your identity, and your relationship status. They're real because we live in a broken world. 

And I truly believe that part of healing this broken world, finding freedom from sin, and permeating Jesus' love is found in sharing our struggles, being honest with one another, and speaking out instead of hiding away.