MUSIC AND MY SOUL.

Music and I have had an on again, off again relationship since I can remember. When I was in school, it was a "forced" activity, in that I had to practice and take lessons to learn the new skill. I hated it growing up. Music theory was challenging (and something I never wanted to learn). Lessons were tough (correction and criticism are hard to hear!). And the cliques and competition in orchestra made it hard for an anxious introvert to ever feel comfortable with.

I quit orchestra my senior year of high school. At the time, it was an easy decision and one--to this day--I have no regrets about. Quitting allowed me to discover my passion for teaching and it was that child development class in high school that gave me purpose and identity and a dream to pursue in college.

But as the years of teaching have accumulated, I've found myself lacking a challenge and new creative outlet. I still love photography and writing, but I've needed something new to challenge my brain and hands and more importantly, my heart. 

When I was in middle and high school, I used to play Christmas music at church and had been approached to play during church services as well. That fearful teen quickly declined and I lived in that shadow for the years to come. I didn't think I was good enough to play, nor did I want to be onstage with so many eyes watching me.

But as I found myself picking up my viola more and more, I realized that the music I gravitated towards playing was always worship music. Sure, I'd play a little classical music or pop covers here and there, but the pieces I found myself repeating and loving were always worship music.

So when I had the opportunity to attend a meeting at church for the music team, I fearfully agreed. And it was just the push that I needed. It's sparked an interest in making more connections with people at church (outside of the relationships I've had and cultivated), pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and letting my heart and soul sing out praises, too.

My word for the year has been to DISCOVER and it's cool to see that even in my late twenties I can re-discover passions and hobbies, too.