November 26, 2018

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

God's been whispering the word change in my heart. And to be completely transparent with you, it has stirred up a whole lot of feelings this month.

If you've been around here long enough, you probably know that one of my constant struggles in life is to let go and let God reign in my life. My human desire is to take over, question what doesn’t match up with my plans, and hold onto whatever is comfortable or constant in my life.

Which, as a total sidenote, if you're into the Enneagram, it's really my Type 9 self searching for inner peace. 

But I digress. This past month or so, God's been challenging me to surrender and trust in His timing and plans. Looking from the outside, it might seem like He's teasing me by putting the word change in my heart without giving me any further details, but to me, I see it as nothing but a challenge and preparation for whatever is to come.

It's a challenge in the sense that I need to be humbled to surrender my life, my plans, and my desires to Him. And that ultimately, His--good and perfect--plans will prevail. And I know that He's also preparing me in the sense that He knows that my anxious heart needs to prepare for what's to come and continue to build that solid foundation on Him, my one and only constant and Rock in my life.

That's not to say, however, that I'm feeling great and completely at peace right now. To be honest, I find myself constantly wondering what this change is--not to mention when it's going to come and how it'll show up in my life. I go back and forth between thinking it’ll be relationship changes, job/education changes, housing changes, family changes, or friendship changes (and the list goes on and on and on).

So I'm finding myself a little in a rut and in deep need of a Savior. And I know that He is good. I know that He is for me (not against me). I know that He is a Rescuer and Redeemer. And I know that He is faithful to provide. So I'm choosing to believe those truths and rely on the knowns, instead of the unknowns for peace and comfort.

I know that He is sovereign. I know that His Word is true. I know that I am safe, even if my future is unknown because I know that I am held in His hands. And I know regardless of what happens, everything is for His glory and my good.

And I'm asking Him to help me believe that, too. 


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© IN ITS TIMEMaira Gall