During 2018, one of the things I discovered and fell in love with was the Enneagram. I've always loved a good personality test but it wasn't until I discovered the Enneagram (which I discovered with major hesitation and doubt), that I found myself challenged yet simultaneously humbled by a personality type.
When I first read about Type 9's, I quickly identified and agreed with my peace-making tendencies, including my self-neglecting tendencies when it comes to people-pleasing and maintaining harmony (even if it is a false sense of harmony!). I also quickly agreed with my tendency to pick up traits of 3's and 6's as well as being trusting, stable, optimistic, and creative, too. But I was quickly put-off by (and possibly in denial) about my vice to be sloth. For a short while, I dismissed my typing altogether because I was offended by being called sloth-like and lazy--especially for an active morning-person who hates procrastination!
But as I read more into it, I realized that I do have sloth-like tendencies. Not with my work, caring for others, and even mundane tasks like chores; but rather, with myself, my needs, and my dreams. I will all too quickly dismiss or neglect myself or God's calling for my life in order to preserve some sense of peace or serve others.
For example, I often keep my opinions to myself in an effort to avoid conflict with those around me. I've also neglected to schedule appointments by putting them farther and farther down my to-do lists. And I know that I've ignored, second-guessed, and doubted God's plans for my life, too.
So this year, my goal is to challenge my peace-seeking, sometimes sloth-like and stubborn and fearful self by being active.
And doing things right away--especially when it comes to taking care of myself and doing what scares me most.
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