June 9, 2023

CHANGING SEASONS.


It feels like a new season is upon me. Not just because of the allergies that showed up with a vengeance this year, but the sun is also out longer into the evening, the weather is warmer, and the ground is lush and green with flowers popping up all around me. I know this is all part of this spring (now summer) season, and sooner than later, I'll pull out the sweaters and boots again (even if I did just put them away). But it still feels like a moment I need to savor.

It's not just the weather, however; life feels like it's changing as well. The closer I get with my boyfriend and the longer this relationship goes, the more I see myself thinking about the future...together.

Sometimes the thought of that scares me, thinking about marriage and parenthood and moving away from my family. Big purchases and planning for joint purchases make me a little nervous as well. But other moments, it all feels so...right. A relationship like this is what I've dreamt of for years and a life stage I've longed for and once I turned thirty, I started to wonder if it would ever be a part of my story. So much so, that I accepted that it may not ever happen and was content with that.

And now that it's something I'm talking about and planning with a partner, it feels surreal. It's a pinch-myself kind of season, because sometimes I wonder how I ended up where I'm at now. And while it feels overwhelming, it also just feels like the next right step for me. A season I never expected, but a season I'm learning to embrace and enjoy. 

I've talked with my boyfriend and a close friend about how I never thought I'd be where I am today even a year ago. This time last year, I was in the interview process for my current role and was single like a Pringle, as social media says. I never imagined leaving the teaching field, let alone being in a relationship with someone. Dang, how life changes in the span of one year.

In all the changes, I'm slowly learning and re-learning that I don't have to have everything figured out right this minute and that I can figure things out as we go. And there's an emphasis on we because I'm learning that I don't have to make all these decisions on my own anymore - I can make it with someone, and that's a good feeling, too. 


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© IN ITS TIMEMaira Gall